When I started this blog it was my intent (and, believe it or not, still is) to make it a priority in my life. It is meant to be a jumping-off point for bigger things. But, like all homeschool moms, I tend to get bogged down at the beginning of the school year. All my careful planning over the summer gets tested. Some things work. Some are GLARING fails. I have to scramble around to make sure our classes are following my vision while making sure the Littles are staying engaged and even entertained so they’re actually learning something. This year I discovered our intended art history book was more technical than my original skimming of it implied and neither artistic nor historical enough. So I am using it as a jumping off point to COMPLETELY PLAN our art history class each week instead of following the notes in my teacher planner. Umm… my friends and husband will tell you I have enough to do without stressing about that week to week.
I am a Mama who envisions grand things for her children’s futures. My homeschool is not for the faint-hearted. And sometimes, I just want to be faint-hearted. Because the slightest deviation from the fastidiously planned school day can send me into a tailspin of worry and guilt. Am I doing enough? Are they learning enough? Have I got them far enough ahead of the curve that we can afford to lose this one day of math? Am I cheating them because a doctor’s appointment or other priority made us cut the day short? How will we make it up if we get a chapter behind in Oliver Twist? When will we find the time?
Any homeschooling mama will tell you these are common worries. Some of my colleagues even laugh at me for them. “Your kids are happy and healthy,” they say. “So long as you treat every experience as a learning experience, you are schooling them.”
I tell myself that. I don’t listen.
So actually making time to do something for myself (i.e. this blog, Zumba class, a trip to the grocery store ALONE), hasn’t been a priority for me for four years. And I don’t see it being a priority until Littlest is graduated and off to college. I can’t even picture any of those things ever being more important than sitting down to plan art class.
With that in mind, I’m making myself a promise. Because this blog and its promise are important to me. I’m going to sit down with my family and discuss a way to make this one thing one of my priorities. Because if I don’t teach my kids to take their commitments (even those they make to themselves) seriously, why bother teaching them at all?
What do you think? What’s one thing in your life you would love to make a priority just for you?